By Bashir Ayodele Ameen
As we grow older we usually get weaker, hence we will be prone to many health challenges. These challenges can stem from physical health such as hypertension, diabetes, pains etc and mental health and well-being; such as memory loss, becoming repetitive in behaviour these can affect our well-being as we grow old. All these are not a barrier for good life, Mrs Zainab Ameen has insured access to this good life by investing in her family and brought up her children to be able to take care of her today.
Zainab Abiola Ameen’s story is that of a survival, a survival on many fronts, a survival on many periods, a survival to the core, but where did it started, once we may ask.
Zainab Abiola Ameen was born on the 23rd of January 1938 to the family of Abu and Abibat Mohammed from Iviaro in Edo State. She was the first child of the family of four, two boys and two girls. Her parent gave her early education and at a teenage age of about sixteen she has been a teacher in the local school in their village, in fact she was the first female Muslim primary school teacher in that town.
She was later married to the head-master of the school by her father in Iviaro her village, the headmaster already has a wife, so she became the second wife. At this teenage age it was extremely difficult for her to confront the challenges of polygamous family. She faced tremendous traditional pressure, especially as she did not conceive in the marriage. She was also confronted by emotional torture by older women in the village.
Facing all these challenges at this tender age was agonising, but she survived. In her family, since she and her husband worked in a school, the first wife usually prepared the family food before the close of work, these food were labelled with each individual name. A major incident once occurred, on this particular day, the son of the first wife took her food with her label and ate it. The child died after few hours, it was later revealed that her food has been poisoned to kill her by the first wife but it consumed her son. This incident ended her first marriage, before she was twenty years old.
She moved back to Lagos, after spending sometime in Ibadan. Now in Lagos she joined the Lagos State Health Service, since her dad was a chief with the Health Service. Not too long, discussion about her getting married again surface. It is trite that she came purely from an Islamic religious family as well as the cultural imperative of the fact that she is matured and not being in a marriage is seen as appetite for promiscuity, no parent want their daughter to be in that situation especially a religious one.
She has her criteria and top on the list is her anti-polygamist stand. It is actually this that she was introduced to by her parent. In fact it a rear twist story, it was a father in law that was disappointed on the way her daughter treated the middle age man, that introduced that middle age man him to Zainab’s parent stating clearing “he is the best in law he would have love to have, but my daughter didn’t see it that way, may be your daughter (Zainab) may be more reasonable”.
It took a bit of negotiation back and front before Zainab finally agreed to marry the Alhaji M B A Ameen, My Late Dad. On Alhaji Ameen’s side, his reason for the marriage is to have a second wife since the first wife has not been able to consummate. It was on the day of the marriage that he realised that a contributing factor for her leaving her first marriage was because she was being tag a barren. Despite all these challenges, she turned everything around and survived humiliation and cultural disgrace, in less than a year she was pregnant. A woman that has been tagged a barren end up having six beautiful children for her new husband. She survived the odd and she survives big.
Her career is not different as well, it is important to note that she came out of her first marriage with a mild hearing problem, something that play a major role on the battle she needs to fight and survive in her various posting in her professional career. She works as record officer. Despite this challenge, she was able to perform her duties well. She sees her job not just something that put food on her table, but also as a means for her to contribute to humanities. She supports struggling patients, helping them to receive the best care possible at the hospital, at all times, visiting them in the admission wards, visiting their families at homes and at times, providing financial supports.
She gradually built an army of friends and supporters cutting across many levels in her work structures. These stories sometimes reached her senior managements at various level of her career. This provided her with a rare influential position ironically not expected from a lower cadre and junior member of staff. When Commissioner of Health and senior member of Health Management Board visited her hospital, it was always discovered that they all know her. When her son graduated from the University as a Medical Doctor, it was easy for her to reap from all she has done for others, she took him to the senior management and they responded by giving him placement immediately.
On the family front, it wasn’t a different story. She was the first child of her family, but the poorest. Her immediate junior brother is a retired Squadron Leader in the Nigeria Air Force, her younger sister the wife of former Ambassador served in many missions for Nigeria and the youngest of the family works at the Nigeria Foreign Mission in Geneva.
She is very sociable and she struggle over many years to ensure that her children received all the love from her, not jettisoning the passion to help others. Her first daughter once open a food stuff business for her after she retired, the business did not survive because she cannot stop giving to those in need. May be for all these, she was blessed with six children in different success stories in her profession, among whom is an engineer and pharmacist, an historian, a jurist and human rights defender, a medical doctor, a barrister at law and a business administrator. She has the opportunity to visits and spent time with her children and grandchildren in the United Kingdom and Canada.
She has had few but difficulty health challenges for years now, but she is surviving, she is a survival and I am proud of her as my mum.
